Unhappy marriages can endure for many years. The negatives have overcome the positives. Couples counseling fails to move the needle. At some point, it will be time to discuss pulling the plug on the union and exploring divorce options.
Marital dissolution is a complicated, emotionally-taxing process. Add to that a lack of finances to pay for legal fees, and a bad situation becomes much worse, leaving spouses in a loveless marriage temporarily under one roof.
Making the best out of challenging situations
While parents divorcing confuses children, having them in the same house only creates more questions than answers. Depending on the age of your kids, let them know that you’re “together” but living independent lives. Reassure them that nothing changes regarding loving and taking care of them. While confusing, it may bring kids a sense of certainty. Simply put, the truth is better than deception.
Specific tasks should continue, such as chores divided up equitably, preferably without arguments. Keeping the peace when it comes to daily household tasks with open discussions on the spouse’s “laundry list” of responsibilities, likely including actual laundry.
As part of the “new chapter,’ dating may also be an option. However, a date entering the house or being introduced to the children should not occur. Conversely, parents should not have an obligation to communicate their whereabouts or schedule to the soon-to-be ex.
Focusing on the children’s best interests while living in a unique dynamic is vital. Parents splitting up impact them. They are entitled to a certain level of stability as parents work through new arrangements when they cannot cover the costs of a formal divorce.